How I feel about Twilight.

Oh, Twilight. You are such a debatable book, aren’t you? Are you good? Do you suck? Why do so many tweens love you? And, most importantly, Edward or Jacob?

I don’t really understand how Twilight became as big as it did. It isn’t superbly written. The plot is kind of meh. Not to mention all of the things are incredibly wrong about it.

Edward is a stalker. If there was a boy who came into my room at night to watch me sleep… I would not be thinking “Oh, he’s so attractive with his tousled hair and white skin.” No, I would be getting a restraining order, because that is fucking creepy. Newsflash to Bella: you aren’t supposed to fall in love with your stalker, who, coincidentally, wants to kill you and drink your blood. And likes to smell you.

Oh, and he  is a pedophile. I don’t care if Edward looks 17. He is like 100+ years old. Anyway you look at it, he is way to old to be dating a 16 year old. It’s perverted and gross. It’s pretty much like a 50 year old dating a 5 year old child. In real life if that happened, we would all be disgusted. Yet no one finds it weird that Edward is dating Bella.

So the hero of the story is a stalker and pedophile. And a masochist. Can he get any more creepy? The answer is: yes, he can. He can read your mind. Nice.

I hate how Bella needs a man in her life. Like, you can’t be an independent woman?  Nope, I guess not. She needs Edward in her life. Until he’s gone, because then she needs Jacob Black in her life. She just ends up leading him on. She is like the epitome of every stereotypical thing I hate about women. She’s needy, she leads guys on, she can’t do shit all on her own, she’s just the typical damsel in distress. Go grow a pair, seriously.

Oh, I almost forgot there’s another case of extreme pedophilia going on with Jacob and Renesme. Ew. Does anyone else find it disgusting that his soul mate is an infant? I don’t care if she matures fast. You don’t just look at an infant and know that, “oh hey I’m going to tang that one day.”

And it’s even more gross because Bella and Jacob would have been married or whatever if Edward hadn’t come along. Nasty. Can you image that awkward conversation? “I kind of, sort of was in love with your mother. Ha ha ha…?” “I kissed your mother…” “I slept with her with just my boxers on…” “She loved me before too…” Yah, weird.

All of that being said, Twilight is addicting. It’s like meth. You try it once and you’re hooked. Even if you wanna quit, you can’t. Even if you hate it, you still do it. It just stays with you for life. I’d say “like herpes,” but I don’t wanna over do it with the similes~

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