Today I pretty much spent my entire day in my room. The only times I left it were to get food, use the washroom, or clean my cat’s litter. Not exactly the most exciting weekend I’ve ever had, which isn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy it. It’s just that in comparison to what the rest of the world does on their weekends it was pretty sad.
Other people go out partying. They spend time with their friends. Go on dates. Talk to family. Actually leave the house. They communicate with other people.
I, on the other hand, spent my time watching romantic shows. They weren’t even romantic shows where the people speak English. That just made me feel even more lame, since I’m a single girl who spent her entire weekend at home watching, in a language she doesn’t even speak, the fictional love lives of other people. And eating.
kind of afraid that I’ll spend the rest of my life this way. Spending all my free time alone, trying to live through people on TV, and imagining what it would be like to be in their place, with friends and romance and happiness. It sounds so pathetic and lonely. And I hope, with every fiber of my being, that I don’t end up that way.
I have a Great Aunt, who never married, is childless, and lives alone. It breaks my heart every time I see her. She doesn’t have anyone to go home to or to talk about her day with or to just live with. And not very many people in my family bother to talk to her because, frankly, she can be annoying and crazy sometimes. She’s so alone and it kills me. Not only because I feel bad for her, but because, every time I look at her, I wonder if I’m going to end up the same way.